a lot more weeks later. oops. turns out my concept of time really changed when i became a stay at home mom. lots of things really changed when i became a stay at home mom. i go more days than i used too without showering (and for those who know me well will know that’s a lot of days), i don’t say full sentences sometimes all day until jesse comes home, i sometimes don’t eat a full meal until dinner after master shepherd is sleeping, i say one syllable words over and over in hopes that one of them will stick-“ball” “duck” “block” “drum”… you get the point. but, i also get to be here for times when he pulls himself up with only help from the coffee table, i get to feed him new foods and watch him experience things like chicken, lima beans and chick peas for the first time (AMAZING!)…he hates the lima beans. i get to teach him how to wave hello and goodbye. i get to read to him and kiss his little face as much as i want…but i don’t because then i wouldn’t get anything else done. I LOVE THOSE CHEEKS!!! so all of that to say i love being a stay-at-home mom. i.love.it.
i also love this city. i told some friends earlier this month that i have never felt like i belong somewhere quite like i do here. i don’t get out of this apartment often but when i do i love kansas city. i don’t know what it is. it’s not exotic, its not mountainous, or have a view of the water but i love this place.  it feels like home.
i bake more, i cook every night, i get to keep my house clean and make my husband laugh because neither one of us feels like we’re living in a black hole of depression any longer. all in all kansas city is good for our souls and i like it here.  God is so good to put us here. i.am.grateful.
well who even likes reading blogs without pictures? no one. not even me. in fact i wont even ready a whole blog post unless it has a picture or two. so just so i’m not a huge jerk to all those bloggers who dont post pictures i will post some- mostly of my child….actually all of my child. he’s my job now you know.

love to you all. and have a happy july 4th!


L.A. Confidential

July 3, 2011

I don’t know how I hadn’t seen this movie until now, and I can’t fully believe that Leslie had completely forgotten how the second half of the movie went, but we both really enjoyed watching it last night. I wouldn’t recommend it to everyone (lots or cursing, killing, and some nudity), but it was really good. I truly enjoyed the screenplay, which was at times…pure Hollywood gold.

Bud- “The Nite Owl case made you. Do you want to tear all that down?”
Ed- “With a wrecking ball… You want to help me swing it?”

Many of the quotes I could share are not suitable for all audiences, but there’s one scene with “Lana Turner” that you could watch 5 times in a row and it would be great every time. I agree with Leslie when she realized that this is the kind of movie you’re glad you’re watching at home, alternately pausing to laugh really hard at the funny bits and pacing around the room when things get tense. I really wish there were more movies like this one, maybe not so similar in content, but really well told stories that push and pull you along until the very end. As an aside, I love movies that have a resolution of the story. I despise movies that fail to fulfill themselves by the very definition of a story, with a beginning, middle, and end (I’m looking at you too Lost). It’s so satisfying to watch things all come together. Ok, enough about that.

Let me know if there are others like this that have surprised and delighted you as the very best of what movies should be.


June 14, 2011

is there a more romantic city? nope. so i’m trying to win a trip there through a blog i read. here is the link: http://ohhappyday.com/2011/06/goes-to-paris. 

i probably wont win but it can’t hurt to try right?
i promise i will post a real life blog post from me, leslie janis, this week. i’ve been learning a lot these last 3 weeks and i can’t wait to share it and pics of our new place.
love to you all,


House, M.D.

June 7, 2011

Leslie and I just finished watching the season finale of House.  We haven’t seen every episode, but we’ve been watching it regularly since 2009.  We were just thinking about how House needs Jesus. Real bad.  He’s someone with such great talent that is marred with tremendous angst.  He’s got dead muscle tissue in his leg that is a source of constant pain.  And he has tried everything to medicate that pain.  Vicodin primarily, but every other kind of drug, alcohol, women, and adrenaline you can think of.  His most recent one was an experimental muscle building drug that ended up causing tumors and resulted in a botched bathtub self surgery.  The only time he’s not inflicting pain on himself is when he’s dumping it all over everyone around him, especially on the people who care about him.  Sometimes, they even come across as the irrational ones on the show, just for loving him or being his friend.

Leslie gives up on this post at this point.  goodnight leslie.

The point of this is that the writers came up with this flawed protagonist(a sick doctor) and have spent 7 seasons exploring every avenue to dissect and display that pain. It’s left the supporting characters to literally be chasing him down the hall asking him why he’s doing the things he’s doing. House leaves defending himself and avoiding them through sarcasm only to end up seeing himself in the dying people he’s fixing.  But no one ever fixes him.  I’ve always taken it for granted that they wouldn’t fix House, because of course the premise of show would disappear.  But now that it’s obvious that the show is coming to some sort of conclusion, and it’s heartbreaking to know that they won’t ever point him towards the only solution that could possibly heal his pain. Leslie and I half joked that the only option hollywood could come up with is for him to be killed off, either by suicide or some freak accident.  It would be their conclusion as to how someone could survive with that amount of pain, the message being that you can’t. Or some shallow soliloquy about karma and how death is a fitting judgement on people who hurt the only ones that love them. But more than even the constant pain in his leg, Jesus is the only possibility that could heal the greater pain in his heart. And it’s the one thing they won’t write for him.  That when you get to the bottom, and you are brokenhearted, is where we find Christ the Lord standing in front of us.  Helping us to get up and walk.

That was Jesus’ message to the invalid lowered in from the roof by his friends.  He wanted to be healed, but Jesus instructed him that his sins were forgiven.  The proof of that was that we was made whole and could walk once more. It happened to me, and it could happen for House.  Oh what a season finale that would make.


Shepherd’s birthday is officially in 3 weeks. His birthday was supposed to be 10 weeks from now, so we’ll just have two parties. He’s started doing a lot of cool stuff in the past month, like crawling, and taking his first steps, and eating tons of new foods.
But more than just developmentally changing, he’s handling the change of scenery well too. In case you missed the update elsewhere, I did get offered that job I mentioned in the last post and started work in KC on the 18th. Leslie and Shepherd moved up over memorial day weekend and we all now live in the Westport neighborhood of Kansas City (that’s the Missouri side).
So we’ve all come a long way. We’ve got our lives unpacked and lots of exploring lined up this summer. We’re going to get out and see this city as much as we can before it gets too cold.
We went to Redeemer Fellowship this morning and loved every second of it. It’s really wonderful and I’m so glad to get to be there sitting next to Leslie.

I’ll let Leslie fill in some of the details now that she’ll be home all the time with Shepherd. I’ve got wireless microphones to learn about for work. Here’s a video of Shep from today –

Waiting game

May 10, 2011

I’m waiting to hear back about a job offer from a production company in Kansas City. It’s great work, and something I want to be doing. But honestly it’s hard for me to believe that I’ll get the job because it means believing that God gives us good gifts for no other reason than He wants to. And my heart has a hard time believing that. Yet there I was, driving my rental car back to the airport and fighting through the feeling that I wasn’t going to get the job because I could have said _____ better in the interview. Praise be to God that we don’t get things from Him based on our behavior and actions. The gospel of Jesus in that moment said to me, “if you get bad things because you performed poorly, then you also are the one who gets the credit for your performance when things go your way. But you don’t have that kind of power.” The good part of the good news is that Jesus does have that kind of power, and He freely gives it to us. So I wait, not on word from the company (though I haven’t heard yet), but primarily I wait on the Lord. He is the one who can sustain me both in much and in less. Without Him, I don’t think my attitude would change even if I got this job. I would still find something to be nervous about, or be afraid of, and be working in my own power to prevent. So here’s my hope and my comfort-

1 Peter 1.6 “in this(God’s salvation of us) you rejoice, though now for a little while, if necessary, you have been grieved by various trails, so that the tested genuineness of your faith may be found to result in praise and glory and honor at the revelation of Jesus Christ.

That the same salvation that is by God’s grace alone that got me here, will keep me here and give me reason to rejoice even in the midst of trials, no matter what they look like. Let’s keep rejoicing in the God of our deliverance. I know I’ve got to.

Shepherd is my favorite

April 28, 2011

I always want to over share.  I regularly over-talk a story or a situation, as Leslie can attest to.

I desire to be overly honest on our blog about everything that I think or feel, but I catch myself.

I guess that’s just growing up.

But the part of my life I want to talk and talk about is my son. So that’s not too odd.

He is my favorite. My favorite everything. He’s got my favorite laugh, and my favorite over sized head. He’s my favorite shoulder-ride buddy and my favorite person I’ve ever held in my arms.

He’s my favorite way for Jesus to melt my heart. Leslie always has a moment sometime during the evening where she wants to go into his room and pick him up and snuggle with him, because he’s just so cute that it’s hard to be in the next room (but we don’t because he would be up half the night yelling at us about it). We love him. alot.

Can’t get enough Shepherd? get your fill at youtube.com/jdjanis

And in the realm of family news, we’re moving to Kansas City June 1st.

sometimes I get to thinking about Mary instead of Jesus. (not that I don’t think about Him)

But the only person more pained to see Jesus on the cross more than God the Father, was the mother who was watching her son be murdered.

I sometimes wishdream about having at least a sneak peek into the future, telling myself that if I only knew what the Lord’s will was for my life, it would make all of the uncomfortable things easier for me to handle. This moment in Mary’s life shatters that wishdream with the almost palpable power of her anguish and grief.

Because she had been told about her future, and had 30+ years to think it through and get ready for that day, and I don’t think it helped her much at all. At least not in the way I hope for future knowledge to help me. On the day they had presented Jesus in the temple, Simeon had told Mary so many wonderful things about her son, but Simeon also said, “and a sword will pierce even your own soul”. And that’s what no mother wants to hear. That her first born son will die, and she’ll be there, and it’ll be so painful that it will go all the way to the very core of her being. No amount of time knowing that kind of pain is coming will make it any easier on the day it arrives.

So Mary was there when they stripped her son naked, and watching as they mocked him and he spoke his last words, and she was powerless to do anything about it. Yet unlike every other mom who’s buried a son, she got to see hers again the next week. Though that was a pretty awful weekend to be buried under that kind of grief.

So when Good Friday comes, with Mother’s day soon following, maybe we can empathize what Jesus’ mom and what she had to watch, in order that we might share in Christ’s death and resurrection.

Coming soon

April 7, 2011

a few quick things.

I’m about to finish Nineteen Eighty-four, which will be the 10th book I’ve read since Christmas.  Which puts me on pace to read over 30 books this year.  I think I can do it.  I really like reading.

We haven’t posted on our blog since last fall.  Not there’s anything wrong with that, but there’s been alot going on in our lives that hasn’t been for public consumption. But just wait a little longer, new posts will begin on April 15th.

I’m going to Chicago on Monday for The Gospel Coalition conference.  I am excited and a little nervous.  There will be a lot of people similar to me there, which is exciting, but it’ll be tempting to walk around comparing myself to everyone I meet. I don’t want to do that.

Also, this is a recent photo of Shepherd being the cutest kid you’ve ever seen.

foodie alert!

October 5, 2010

if you’re a foodie like myself you will thoroughly enjoy this web site. Delicious.
autumn food is my favorite and they make it look so beautiful!
check out the sweet potato and pecan pancakes toward the bottom. my stomach is growling!